Being by nature a sesquipedalian, it irks me more than somewhat to employ words comprising but a single syllable. How on earth am I supposed to employ my amazing circumlocutive skills when confronted by such meagre pickings?
“Grey” is a good example. Dull and nondescript says the dictionary.
“Wood” is a small forest, says the good book.
“Hogg” is a farmyard animal.
“Lee” is somewhere to shelter.
I mean, what am I supposed to do with them?
“The dull pig hides in the trees.”
But on Friday evening, Grey, Wood, Hogg and Lee decide it is time to puff out their chests and show the world that they are really big words after all, this after Cavan Thake has given the Mount an early lead against the Chinese Telephone Directory on Kemp Street.
First, Grandiose Steve Grey edges out Pete Jackson in game two to square the match at 1-1.
Then, Wondrous Brian Wood produces a man of the match performance in making it t 2-1.
Up pops Humungous Reb Hogg to extend the hosts advantage to 3-1 in game four.
Lastly, Legendary Phil Lee secures at least a point for his team at 4-1 with victory in game five.
nd although averages leader Steve Riley keeps a flame of hope flickering for the visitors in reducing the deficit to 4-2 in game six, before long the triple-syllabled Simon Calligan has secured both points in the penultimate leg for the fast improving Orientals.
This setback for the Mount means that Highbury ‘A’ are presented with the opportunity to move into second spot in the table, an opportunity they duly grab with both hands courtesy of a 7-1 win over visitors the Bowling Club. Scott Hayton is a tungsten typhoon in delivering his man of the match performance for the winners, whilst Les Ivison is a solitary success story for the buffeted biased boys.
Sitting prettily at the top of the pile this week are the Fleetwood Cons, whose phenomenal finishing leaving the Collapsible Comrades battered, bewildered and 6-0 in arrears. Steve Cowell is as smooth as silk for the laudable Lotharios, Lenny Billington best for the visitors in helping reduce the final deficit to 6-2 at the end of proceedings.
Also taking full advantage of the Olympian stumble are defending champions Dockers ‘A’, this after a comfortable 6-2 victory over the Blasted Heathens. For the victors it is Robert Dagger who is precision personified in securing a neat 92 finish, whilst for the tormented Taverners it is Ian Barron who is robustly resistant.
Meanwhile, there is an incident involving domestic violence to report in the match between the Strawberry Gardens and Highbury ‘B’, as Grandfather John Shaw beats Grandson John Shaw in reducing the home side’s advantage to a solitary leg. And although the visitors level the match at 3-3, the victory eventually goes the way of the home side, this after a brace of wins for Ian Ball and last man John Rowe. Andy Gratrix is top dog for the winners, with Anthony Rhimes the best of the B’s.
Another ocheological octet on the up this week are the Peripatetic Pensioners, as they come back from 3-2 down to snatch both points from the grasp of the Jamie Spore inspired Beach Road Boys in the dying embers of the match. A trio of wins for man of the match Mick Buckingham, Keith Higham and Joe Lavery leaves the querulous Queens hovering dangerously close to the bottom of the table.
The surname Hughes apparently means “fire”, a not unsurprising description if events upon the oche at the Bowling Club are anything to go by. For the well beaten Femme Fatales it is Trish Hughes who continues her impressive form with win number thirteen of the campaign, this after watching son Haidan Hughes take centre stage for 7-1 winners Dockers ‘B’.
Finally, the Atkin Juggernaut chalks up another 5-3 victory, this week’s opponents the bemused bottom feeders from Broadwater. Daniel Atkin continues to climb remorselessly up the league ranking for the victorious Royal Oak, whilst for the Cricket Club it is again Jimmy Pilling catching the eyes of the judges with his seventh best of breed award of the winter.
By the way, did you know that hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is the fear of long words?
How good is that?
Thanks for reading.