A last-gasp victory by Peripatetic Pensioner Martin Coleclough in the final leg of their match away to Dockers ‘B’ is the catalyst for an outrageous octogenarian ocheological outburst.
His win finally bringing to an end five months of torture and torment for the Ashley. And although Harold Davies, Keith Higham, Jimmy Unsworth also return triumphant on the night, it is a shared experience between Mick Buckingham and Mike Pinder that is the highlight of a special night for the aged ones. Rumour has it that some of them didn’t get to bed until almost eleven o’clock!
Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, a seismic encounter is unfolding upon Lowther Road, as the Cons take on Highbury ‘A’ in a match of epic proportions. And yet things appear to be going very much the way of the defending champions as Steve Cowell, Dave Smith and Jeff Walkington chalk up early wins for a 3-0 advantage. That Highbury remain in touch at the halfway point is thanks to a crucial win in game four by Carl Simey.
And although Robert Job further reduces the deficit to 3-2 in the opening game of the second half, before long the home side have moved to within touching distance of victory, courtesy of Jordan Brooks. However, the visitors are not to be denied as Ray Connolly and last man Scott Hayton each record tremendous wins to secure a point in the dying embers of a terrific tussle.
So it is that Dockers ‘A’ travel to Annie’s Attic to take on the Collapsible Comrades, in search of a victory that will take them clear of the chasing pack. And at the end of an enthralling first half, both sides are splendidly juxtaposed at 2-2. When Mark Shewan edges the visitors ahead at the start of the second period, things look to be going decidedly the way of Moses McCann and his men.
But then, as did the phoenix rise triumphantly from the ashes, so too does Johnny Johnstone heap a leg of tungsten turpitude upon his old doubles partner Robert Dagger. Inspired by his colleague’s resilience, Mark Brook holds his nerve to edge the Comrades 4-3 ahead in the penultimate leg. And although Adam Blyth proves too hot to handle in game eight, a point for each side is considered a fair return as the race for the league title tightens still further.
The Olympians meanwhile are closing the gap on the leading trio with an emphatic away victory at Highbury ‘B’. Jimmy Reilly is back to his best for the victorious Mount, with Geoff Ward a solitary success story for the frustrated footballers.
Not since the French aristocracy decided to bankroll the building of a guillotine factory has anyone suffered such a lousy return on their investment as Sleepy Time Pillows. Indeed, urgent talks at Headrest House have been held to review the position of cover boy Pete “Siesta Time” Hornby.
But now, all has been forgiven as he casts off his torpor to bang in a 107 two dart finish for the Blasted Heathens, as they cruise to a 6-2 victory over the Bowling Club, despite some staunch resistance from Ian Ivison. Indeed, there is even talk now of a move into pet related sleeping systems by Sleepy Time, as they look to launch the Hornby Hibernating Hedgehog Hutch.
Having previously mentioned the French Revolution, did you know that the husband of Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve was guillotined in the Bastille? I didn’t think so. I only mention Gabrielle because she wrote Beauty and the Beast, which is also a fair description of our next match, as the Bowling Club Ladies take on the Workingmens on Upper Lune Street. Ian Heslop is the hero for the visitors as he secures both points for the Kemp Street outfit in the penultimate leg of a close encounter of the darting kind.
Elsewhere, the Queens Hotel and the Cricket Club batter each other to a standstill upon Beach Road, the stars of our third 4-4 result being Lee Howell and Darren Rathbone respectively.
Finally this week, the Royal Oak gets back to winning ways when Daniel Atkin secures his finishing double to see off the brave challenge of visitors the Strawberry Gardens in the penultimate leg. Billy White is adjudged to be best for the Atkin Juggernaut this time out, with Ian Kempson as happy as a fat cat in Mouse City for the frustrated Fuzzy Ducks.