I think they call it an accumulator.
Some kind of bet that requires one to correctly forecast the results from a number of sporting fixtures, so I’m told.
I only mention this because, as I check the darts fixtures ahead of last Friday evening, it strikes me that every game is going to end up 4-4.
“Fotheringay”, I say to my loyal and ancient retainer, “look at these fixtures then telephone Owen Lotts the bookmaker.”
After swiftly perusing the list, he turns to me and arches a disapproving eyebrow.
“Dockers ‘B’ against Highbury ‘A’, Sir?” he queries.
“You think not?” I reply.
“No chance Sir”, he replies. “Why not just have a pound on the rest.”
So it is that I eagerly await the arrival of the match cards on Saturday morning, keen to see how many of the seven matches end 4-4.
Things begin promisingly upon the blasted heath with the Taverners and Femme Fatales beautifully juxtaposed at three games apiece.
But then Trish Hughes goes and spoils it all by snatching a draw in her game against Mark Mizon, leaving the way clear for dame of the game Tracey Cunningham to secure a last gasp victory that sees the ladies move daintily above their opponents in the league table. Earlier,
Gav Billington is effortlessly efficient in chalking up his first win since returning to the oche. One down six to go.
Next we have a clash between the league’s bottom two teams, as the Queens Hotel take on the Cricket Club on Beach Road. Again, it is a solitary shared experience that sees my wager fall apart. This time it is opening pairing Paul Bailey and Dave Pilling who get it all wrong.
Thereafter, the home side ease ahead courtesy of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobic man of the match Mike Tallentire and Jamie Spore.
Back bounce the visitors through Tony Kemp, Matty Kilburn and Ian Stewart; this before Harold
Rees levels things up for the Queens in the penultimate leg. But once more, bringing up the rear for the cricketers is Jimmy Pilling. Poor Jamie Cygal must have thought he had it in the bag after hitting his finishing double. Alas, it is not to be as Jimmy pips him on the arrows to secure both points for the Broadwater bottom feeders. Two down five to go.
Maybe I’ll get my first 4-4 on Upper Lune Street, where the Bowling Club and Strawberry are enjoying a rumbustuous encounter. First half wins for Ian Ball, man of the match John Rowe and Lee Nield see the visitors pull clear, this despite falling behind early on following an opening win for homester Ian Ivison.
A splendid performance by best biased boy Arthur Armstrong reduces the deficit at the start of the second period, only for Andy Ingham to secure at least a share of the spoils for the Fuzzy
Ducks with victory in game six. Surely, my first 4-4 is about to occur as Terry Beavers pulls the home side to within one leg in the penultimate leg. Sadly not, for it is visitors last man Andy
Gratrix who snatches both points at the end of a terrific tussle. Three down four to go. At 2-2 things are on track in the match between the Atkin Juggernaut and the Peking Ducks.
Alas and alack, things then go pear shaped as the home side cruise into a 5-2 winning lead. A late win for Simon Callighan does little to help my investment with Owen Lotts. Sean Atkin is best on the night for the triumphant hosts with Brian Wilson omnipotently outstanding for the outplayed orientals. Four down three to go.
The least said about the next three games the better.
First Highbury ‘B’ demolish visitors the Ashley by 7-1, Mick Buckingham a solitary success story for the punch drunk pensioners, with Andy Helsby back to his best for the riotously rampant hosts. Five down two to go.
Then, what I anticipate to be a keenly fought encounter upon the esplanade is quickly wrapped up by the Dave Smith inspired Cons, this before Peter Jackson inflicts a first defeat of the campaign on Wes Newton for the home side. Six down and just one to go.
Also easing home safely on Friday are Dockers ‘A’. At 2-3, things still look to be nicely balanced in Annie’s Attic after a brace of wins for homesters Stan Billington and Gaz Whitehead, this before Brett Dawson, man of the match Mark Smith and last man Adam Blyth deliver a hat trick of victories in securing both points for the defending champions.
So there you have it, seven matches and not a single 4-4 scoreline. It is little wonder that Owen Lotts has a laughing fit whenever I walk through the front door of the bookies.
I may as well have a look at the only card that Fotheringay wouldn’t let me bet on.
Haidan Hughes makes it 1-0 for Dockers ‘B’.
Chris Blyth Junior makes it 2-0 for Dockers ‘B’.
Mitch Blyth makes it 3-0 for Dockers ‘B’.
What’s going on?
Highbury ‘A’ skipper Chris Job reduces the deficit to 3-1.
Man of the match Elliot Lowe makes it 4-1 for Dockers ‘B’.
Carl Simey reduces the deficit to 4-2.
Top banana Scott Hayton reduces the deficit to 4-3.
John Shaw hits a 127 bull finish to make it 4-4.
Unbelievable! Thanks for reading.