This year’s contestants for BBC’s The Apprentice are a modest bunch.
They’re as obnoxious and full of themselves as ever.
Their opening sentences, designed to impress Lord Alan Sugar, always manage to infuriate the rest of us.
Here's this years cringe-enducing batch:
Courtney Wood: “How would I describe myself in one sentence? I’ll give you one word: awesome.”
Dillon St. Paul: “Sometimes batting the eyelashes can get you a lot in business. Hence, the mascara comes in handy – so they can see those lashes.”
Oliver Nohl-Oser: “Sometimes I feel like James Bond when I’m in my suit.”
Frances Bishop: “I’m a pocket rocket. I’m quite fiery and live the rule ‘kill them with kindness’.”
Jessica Cunningham: “A motto I live by is: there is no competition if you’re already winning.”
Karthik Nagesan: “If I wanted to be like everyone else, I’d have waxed my monobrow.”
Samuel Boateng: “My creativity, my passion, my charm, and my likeability all roll into one, creating one perfect guy.”
Mukai Noiri: “I feel sorry for Lord Sugar because previous applicants have been weak.”
Natalie Hughes: “I started at a young age, I’m a hustler, I’ve got the hustler’s ambition.”
Paul Sullivan: “I’ll play the team when I need to be part of the team, but I’m here to win; I’m not here to make up the numbers.”
Rebecca Jeffery: “People often foolishly mistake my enthusiasm for silliness or positivity for naivety. I’m proof that you can get things done without whinging.”
Sofiane Khelfa: “The best survivors in the world are the people who adapt, and I’m the best at adapting. I’m like a chameleon. I adapt to anything, anywhere, anytime.”
Trishna Thakra: “My only tactic is to be myself; this alone will make sure I win.”
Alana Spencer: “I am incredibly hard working, driven, and I’ll stop at nothing to get what I want.”
Aleksandra King: “Like the Tasmanian devil in the famous cartoon, I will torpedo my way through to the win.”
Grainne McCoy: “I need guidance and a little bit of mentoring to help me make that first million.”
JD O’Brien: “I won’t suffer fools. I will get upset by other candidates who don’t know their arse from their elbow.”
Michelle Niziol: “I work 15 to 17 hours every day. 100 per cent, I’m a workaholic.”