Nicola Adam column: An unfortunate adventure with Ouzo

Nicola Adam, Group Editor
Nicola Adam, Group Editor

There is no bigger fallacy than that holidays are good for you.

If you need further proof please consult my waistline.

I was only away from my desk for a week but on return from seven days indulging my every whim in the Greek islands - I already have to sit farther away from it than I used to.

In theory, and according to my not terribly precise calculations, you should actually use more calories while out and about on your jollies than while chained to a desk earning your pennies.

I’m absolutely sure I burned significant number while demonstrating my lunging and scratching techniques for slapping mosquitoes into touch.

And to be honest, those glasses of Greek beer are really big and heavy - they almost constitute weight training.

Swimming in the icy pool has to be better than typing for general fitness yet I have returned to Blighty with a week’s weight gain commensurate with that of a baby hippo.

Can’t think what I did wrong.

Further evidence of the destructive nature of holidays came with the advent of Monday morning. Instead of leaping, renewed, like a young gazelle with clear eyes and a reborn appetite for life, I cowered under the covers like an escaped prisoner in the pub for the first time in a decade.

Finally, plucking the courage to throw back the duvet, I managed to roll out with a groan, bothering my mosquito bites which are so numerous, customs officials raised a red flag due to fears that smallpox is making a comeback.

Squinting in the mirror at my reddened, dry-looking, bitten, face I cracked open my exhausted eyelids before throwing myself in the shower, my peepers still only partially open.

With pouring water came clarity that not only was I returning to normal life, but one filled with approximately 7,000 unread emails, 3,000 problems and one week of news to catch up on. A

ll this using my brain mushed by a week’s proper sleep and an unfortunate adventure testing out the local Ouzo.

To add insult to injury, wearing pre-vacation sized clothes so tight I can barely walk.

I need a holiday.